Calm Down Corner Planner: What to Put In It, Using What You Have

How to use it

1. Set the three pink words at the top: your child’s age, where the corner will go, and what seems to help them settle. Pick anything you’ve noticed. There’s no wrong answer.
2. Look at the drawing. Every numbered dot is one thing on the list, and tapping a dot shows what it’s for.
3. Tick Have it? on whatever you already own. The drawing fills in, and the count at the top goes up.
4. What’s left is your list. Every line gives you the free way first, and a product only when buying is worth it.
5. Print it for the fridge, Copy list for your phone, or Share it with whoever is helping you set up.

What actually goes in a calm down corner

Less than the pictures online suggest. I spent three years as a preschool aide before my own kids, and the corners that got used had three things: somewhere soft, something for the body, something for the feelings.

Somewhere soft is a bean bag, a pile of pillows or a folded duvet. It should be low and always in the same spot. Something for the body is whatever gives their hands or legs a job: a rolled towel to squeeze, a push against the wall, a bottle of slow glitter to watch. Something for the feelings is a card, a few drawn faces or a book you’ve read together on a good day.

That’s the whole corner. Everything else is decoration, and decoration is fine, but it won’t be the thing that gets used.

Three house rules

1. It’s never a punishment. Nobody gets sent there. You can go together. The CDC calls staying with your child during a hard moment “time-in”, and it’s the opposite of sending them away.
2. Practice when everyone is calm. Visit it on good days, so it’s familiar on hard ones. A tool your child has never tried won’t be the thing they reach for mid-meltdown.
3. They can leave when they’re ready. No timer, no “think about what you did.” When they come out, a hug is enough.

Safety, by age

The planner adds a note when one applies, and here is the reasoning.

• At 2 to 3, stay close and keep out anything small enough to fit through a toilet-paper tube. The federal small-parts rule covers toys meant for children under 3, and children’s hospitals suggest a toilet-paper tube as a rough size check. I use it the cautious way: if it fits through the tube, treat it as a choking risk. If it doesn’t, that doesn’t make it safe.
• Weighted items are for sitting and awake only, never for sleep. The CPSC and the AAP say not to use weighted blankets or other weighted objects for a baby’s sleep. I couldn’t find an official minimum age for older children, so the planner suggests the lap pad from age 4 as my own choice, with no number behind it. If your child has an OT, ask them.
• If things get thrown, soft or plastic only, and no lamp within reach.
• Earmuffs are an option the AAP lists for kids who are bothered by loud noise. They don’t replace finding out what’s loud, and I’d let your child try them on before the hard day.

For anything to do with your child’s development or sensory needs, your OT or doctor leads.

Make it your own

The planner starts from a calm corner for a 4- to 5-year-old in the corner of a room. Change the age and the list changes: playdough instead of a rolled towel at 2 to 3, a weighted lap pad from 4. Choose a tent, a travel basket or a classroom and the first line changes too.

If you want more ideas, my longer list of corner ideas is a good next stop, and the post about what really gets used has a free checklist you can print. If your child throws things, read the advice for preschoolers who throw before you buy anything.